2013 has begun a few days ago. Classes have resumed and I'm back to my old routine. So what do I have in store for today? As usual, another entry to my "feelings for the day" diary. Well, life surprised me with an irony. An irony involving myself. Why? I am being consulted by my friend who has a "lovelife" problem. On the other hand, I have another problem.
I lack attention thus I need attention. I want to be cared for. I want to appreciated. I want to be loved for who I am. A person whose love I need and I can't survive without it. Hazely's love. I grew up not close with my parents. When I was a child, my grandparents took care of me. I only see my parents during the night and most of that time, I was dozing off already. It happened one day, my father was with me at home. He scolded me for spilling water. I quickly ran to my room and hid under the bed. There, a question buzzed in my mind. "Do my parents love me?. That was the beginning of it. When I was in elementary, my mother was strict in terms of academic affairs. I get in fights with my mother most of the time and I get scratches in my neck or sometimes even my face. If my father hears about a fight that occurred earlier that day, he will punch me. I spent an hour or so crying my heart out. That question remained in my head. After some time, I grew cold to them. I did not share any secret with them. I did not confess anything personal. The distance grew and grew. Until the day, that I told myself, "I need love. The kind of love my parents did not give me." That's the reason why I always seek love. I seek attention from others. I grew up with little attention and little love. No time for those things because all I thought about that time is studying. Now we get to the topic. Hazely's love. Why is her love special? What makes it different to the others? I'll answer those questions. First off, why is it special? It's special because it's the kind of love that makes you feel good no matter what. Our closeness is that of a bestfriend. Our love is that of a couple. Our stories are from a kid's mind. Mix those up and that's what you get. A relationship in which you can be open about anything. Talk about anything. Laugh at anything. Share thoughts and secrets. I really like that relationship. It's so special for me because, it's the kind of love that I was looking for. All those things we did are those that I did not let my parents experience. It's so special that I'll do anything to fight for it. Now, what makes it different to others. Hazely. Hazely makes it different because of her charming and bubbly personality. I have never seen a girl so random like her. We're like the jack of all trades because we can be anything. Her personality adds color to the relationship. Her laughter, her smile, her small antics, her touch, her smell. Everything about her is unique. And the significant difference is the way she loves me. I actually consider her a "tsundere". An anime character which he or she initially shows cold and mean personality but inside is a soft and loving heart. Hazely is a tsundere for me becasue, sometimes she's showing her cold side to me but afterwards she will cuddle me. Sometimes, I compliment her for something. Instead of being flattered, she would say I'm stupid. Something like that. Cute eh? I have a thing for tsunderes. No wonder on the irony. My girlfriend is a real life tsundere. Now, all these things are worth everything. All these are worth fighting or even dying for. I really love Hazely and I will do everything to make her happy and contented with me. I'll be more understanding to her when it comes to somethings. I'll be more patient and try not to irritate her again. I'll never raise my voice when arguing with her nor will I lay my hand on her. Hazely. I love you you so much! You mean everything to me. You're the most special girl. The most beautiful and the cutest girl I've ever met. You're love is addicting. It's my only drug. I need it badly. I need it for survival. I assure you. You will meet a new me this 2013. A year of great adventure awaits us! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
You made me smile and cry last 2012. This 2013, I will be with you through every step of the way. Helping you to conquer every challenge life has to offer us. I hope that we have a good and enjoyable year. Always remember! No giving up! We can do this! I love you Hazely. ;*
