Breaking up is an OPTION but NEVER the SOLUTION.

Actually, I told someone about this already and then few deys ago, my friend put on a status. It was the best status I've read. Why? I can relate to it. I already told my girlfriend that no matter what happens, even if the pain is much worse. Breaking up is never the solution to any problem. It will just make the pain worst. What I'm curious about is what drives girls or boys leave their loved one? I've done it before because I made a promise. But actually, I don't like to hurt others. I care about what they feel. It breaks my heart if I hurt someone. I want HER to be happy. Maybe it's the feelings that change. Maybe it's the change. The change one encounters as the relationship moves along. I never experienced that. Someone told me that I'm such a dickhead for letting her hurt me that much. Why endure such thing when you can end it? I don't like to end a relationship. As long as I can handle it, I will never give up on something which has become a part of my life. She became a part of my daily routine. Texting her. Everything about her. That's why I can't break her heart. Yeah, I admit that sometimes I'm being immature. But I will NEVER EVER LEAVE HER. No matter what happens, I won't do it. Even if the problem has no solution, which is quite impossible, I will not do it. I promised her that I won't leave her no matter what. I hope she won't give up on me either. I just hope that this relationship will last. It will if we believe.

Fuck you. A LOT.

What will you feel if one day, your loved one will send a text message to you. You read, "Fuck you. A LOT." I really don't understand what makes people say those words. Especially to your loved one. I can't barely understand the fact that it can hurt someone. Maybe because of the anger? Maybe other things too. But the thing I don't understand the most is that I feel nothing when I receive texts like that. I really don't understand. It's a mixed feeling actually. Two contradicting feelings which cancel out each other therefore feeling nothing. I feel hurt. Of course! I feel hurt because the girl I love sent a text message saying "fuck you" instead of "i love you". The contradicting feeling is that it's okay for me. I don't know but I think its the love that makes me feel that. I love her so much that even if she hurts me so much I can withstand anything. I really love her. I am willing to do anything for her. I wish she would cool her mind when I talk to her one of these days. Talking to her these days are uncertain because she's in the province. Hayyy. I wish she would text me so we could communicate and so I can apologize to her.

Actually, one of my friend told me that I should not let her take me down. My friend said, "Wag mo siyang sanayin sa ganyan. Lagi ka na lang niya inaaway. Di mo ba napapansin na inuunder ka niya?" I answered him with, "Okay lang sa akin. Mahal ko naman siya. Iniintindi ko naman siya lagi eh. Kaya okay lang. Isa pa, ayoko taasan yung pride ko." That's what I answered him. I don't care what others think of me. As long as I love what I'm doing, I am willing to risk anything just for her. I reallyyyyy love herrrrrr. I am madly in love with her. 

If you are reading this, I hope you'd understand me. I'm really sorry for my stupidity. I'm sorry for making you wait for a long time. I'm really sorry. It's okay that you hurt me, as long as I won't hurt you back. I love you. :(

Alam mo yung feeling na di mo napapasaya yung girlfriend mo? Yun ang nararamdaman ko. Yung feeling na pinaramdam mo sa girlfriend mo na isa siyang halimaw. Feeling tuloy ng girlfriend mo na ampanget panget niya. Yung feeling feeling na sobrang nadown ang girlfriend mo dahil sinabi mo? Yung feeling na ayaw na ng girlfriend na icompliment mo siya kasi alam niyang PURO kasinungalingan lang at PAMPAGAAN lang ng LOOB lahat ng sinasabi mo.

That's how I feel. Lahat ng sisi nasa akin. Dahil sa nangyari sa amin. Putangina ko. Napakawalang kwenta akong boyfriend. Isang boyfriend na hinayaan lang na maramdaman ng girlfriend nya yun? Tama ba naman yun? Boyfriend ka tapos sasabihan mo halimaw girlfriend mo? Putangina lang. Ako kasi yung tipong gustong gusto icompliment yung girl kasi I know it boosts their self esteem and they'll believe in themselves better. Ang boyfriend din dapat cinocompliment ang girlfriend kasi it adds a sweet effect. Hindi ba't mas nagiging sweet pag ganun? Na sabihan mo yung girl na "You look beautiful." kahit yung ganyan lang. Honestly, nung sinabi nya sa akin na natuwa siya for making her feel special. Alam mo yung feeling ko nun. Yung parang ansaya-saya kasi you made a girl feel beautiful like she's the only girl. Yun sana yung gusto kong iparamdam sa kanya. Siya lang ang kaisa-isang babae sa akin at siya ang pinakamaganda para sa akin. Pero ngayon, wala na. Di ko na pwede gawin yun. Dahil yun sa akin. Dahil sa ginawa ko. Katarantaduhan ba naman eh. Tama siya. Kahit pa man joke yun. It makes a girl feel na wala naman talagang special sa kanya. It made her feel so down. So fcked up. Gusto ko sana ituloy kaso she'll hate me for saying another compliment. Now I know that compliments are just lies to make someone feel better. It just makes me feel fcking worse. I'm beginning to question myself whether if I should call myself a boyfriend or not. Because I know for a fact that a boyfriend does not let her girlfriend down and in that case I'm not in. It just affects me alot. A real lot. I'm not worthy to be called a boyfriend. NOT WORTHY OF ANYTHING. I'm just a boy inlove with a girl.